forgetting

"When I was younger, 

I could remember anything, 

whether it had happened or not; 

but my faculties are decaying now 

and soon I shall be so I cannot remember 

any but the things that never happened.  

It is sad to go to pieces like this 

but we all have to do it."

 

~Mark Twain

I just love Mr. Twain!  And this quote makes me laugh about something that otherwise would overwhelm me: my mom's alzheimer's disease.  Yes, it is sad.  Yes, I miss her.  Her disease is so far progressed that she doesn't communicate at all any more, and she lives 2000+ miles away from me anyway.  I have heard that some people get grumpy or even mean with dementia, but that was not the case with my mom.  When I was last able to visit her she was so funny.  You see, my mom had been a worrier, a perfectionist, a control freak, and at times somewhat critical.  I think she may have even suffered from depression, especially after my dad died in 2002.  But the alzheimer's took all of that away.  She was like a very sweet, silly child. 

This has been a good reminder for me of two things:

1. I can be a lot like my mom used to be, and I do not want to wait until I get alzheimer's to let go of all of the negatives and allow my family to see a sweet, silly, child-like side of me!
2. This earthly life and body is only temporary.

I think I'm ready for autumn

It is no great secret to anyone who knows me that I do not like the heat.  This year has, of course, been particularly hot.  So, what have I been obsessing over thinking about?  Making bread . . . and soup . . . and baking.  Yep, that's it; I'm done.  Ready for summer to be over.

still

Be still and know that I am God.

You're still the one.

Listening for that still, small voice.

Why do i still struggle so?

Will you please be still?

Are you still working on that?

We're still in debt.

Peace, be still.

Be still my heart.

Still...

still...

still.

Thankful Thursday

counting my blessings
21-31

• Music
• Art
• Poetry
• Mountains
• Oceans
• Trees
• Rain
• Snow
• Sun
• Moon
• Stars

fit by fifty

In 101 weeks and a day I will be 50.  I was fit when I was 20.  I was fairly fit, but slightly overweight when I was thirty.  I was more overweight when I was 40.  I am now very overweight; I need to lose at least 80 pounds.  My goal is to be at my ideal healthy weight before my 50th birthday.  So, I am going to start posting my plans and progress here on my blog.  

My first steps will be:

1. walk or swim at least 3 days a week
2. do the 100 pushups training program
3. eat a healthy breakfast w/protein every morning